Friday, November 04, 2005

Clerks

evil clerk
I awaken from a pleasant dream. With Kenya Estate AA dark roast brewing, I anticipate an enjoyable and rewarding day ahead. All of the sudden, I am vexed by a ringing phone and am swept from my contemplative state as my antihelixes vibrates to the uttering of a solicitation for savings on my long-distance phone rates. I attempt to explain to this dysphonic automaton that I am not in need of such a service as I never make long-distance calls. But alas, my efforts are met with futility and I am urged to take advantage of this offer now as it is for a limited time only. I request the attention of the manager, with the intent of having my phone number removed from their calling database, but again fail to get my way as this information-age barbarian has no intention of abandoning his pursuit of a commission so quickly. Several rebuttal attempts later, I am able to escape from this accosting and reclaim my morning, only to find that the experience has left me deflated and with depleted levels of serotonin. I now ponder how long it will be until my next dealing with a clerk.

JMR

3 Comments:

Blogger Queenie said...

I love the way u write! :)

8:37 AM  
Anonymous cherake said...

excellent very impressive

1:50 AM  
Anonymous E. Middleton said...

I just stumbled on here after searching some chess sites, I'm a published poet and professional critique. It's quite good Jason.

I like your use of idiosyncratic colloquialisms, this gives it voice, a presence. I look over scores of poems, some of my own included, that fail at this from first word to bloody last :) Strong imagery, and a sense of self and place are all very strong throughout.

I do feel that it could be cut, not too too, it just gets a little clunky in the middle. Always remember the adage "kill your baby, make it stronger," and make sure that you do not leave people behind with complex concepts and ideas(more about some of your other pieces, nothing complicated in this one, however, to leave people behind defeats the purpose of verse, prose or song.)

Sorry to waffle, I hope you continue to write and enjoy.

3:00 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home